Almost

Wednesday (3.11.15) started off like most any day. The boys actually slept in a little due to the time change which was nice. We did our morning routine of breakfast, coffee, cleaning up from the night before, and then decided to make hospital visits as a family that day. There is something about doing ministry as a family that is special, something that I cherish, and something that I want our children to participate it for years and years to come.

On our drive home from the hospital JAM and I were talking about several different things, in particular about how fun it be for us the get the phone call for a child(s) that day. We find ourselves trying not to talk about it too much so that we are not dwelling on what could happen, but being thankful for the here and the now amongst our day to day life.

We get home, do lunch, get Keller down for a nap, and Layton down for his rest time. JAM went to clean the trucking company offices I was able to rest for a little while before starting a few chores of my own. I had been thinking about a friend whose family has been waiting to be licensed for a few weeks now and I thought I would text her to check in on the progress of everything.

We texted back and forth for a few minutes and in the midst of texting, it happened.

My phone started ringing. Ringing with a number I didn't recognize.

Upon answering I hear Mrs. C's sweet voice on the other end. "Good afternoon Mrs. M. I have something I wanted to talk to you about...."

Of course my mind starts going a million miles an hour.
Is this it? Is this the call I've been praying for, longing for, desiring day in and day out?
Then her boss started beeping in and she said she needed to call me right back.
"Sure, I'll be here, feel free to call me back whenever!"

Of course I was hoping she would call me back within the first five minutes, but five minutes turned into fifteen, fifteen turned into thirty, and thirty minutes turned into an hour.

After an hour of not hearing anything I was pretty sure whatever Mrs. C was calling about had probably gone a different direction. I reached out and texted Mrs. C just to let her know that if she needed to call me after office hours it was going to be no problem. She responded quickly to my text and told me that our family was originally being contacted about a possible placement, but it turned out that the other social worker had already worked out everything and they didn't need our home for a placement after all.

Almost. It almost happened.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't sad. I was, very sad. I had a good cry, and waited for JAM to get home so I could tell him the news.

As I was waiting for him to get home, Mrs. C responded with another text that said, "It's going to happen in God's timing!! Be blessed and hopefully we will talk soon!"

She is right. Not in my timing, but in the Lord's timing. Praise the Lord for kind, Godly, social workers!

It was such a blessing to receive that. It was such a wonderful reminder that I should desire nothing apart from the His perfect and anointed timing. His will for our future is going to far exceed anything I could have ever hoped for or imagined.

"Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday. Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him...." Psalm 37:5-7a

This verse puts a smile on my face because every time I read it I think of my childhood pastor, Bro. Bob Pitman and how he would always joke from the pulpit about patience. He would always say, "Don't ever pray for patience...you never know what the Lord will do when you pray for something as big as patience." As scary and big as something like the concept of patience is, I'm boldly praying for and striving for it. I'm also striving to have a Christ-like attitude while waiting- most days I fail and that's just real life.

Another set of verses that the Lord brought to the forefront of my mind was Psalm 139. Goodness, this Psalm is rich, this Psalm is sweet, this Psalm is comforting. Every time I read it, it brings peace and comfort. I'm overwhelmed with the truths and richness in every line of this Psalm!

Psalm 139:

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.

 You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.

 Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

 You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay your hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.

 Where shall I go from your Spirit?
    Or where shall I flee from your presence?

 If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

 If I take the wings of the morning
    and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
 even there your hand shall lead me,
    and your right hand shall hold me.

 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,
    and the light about me be night,”
 even the darkness is not dark to you;
    the night is bright as the day,
    for darkness is as light with you.

 For you formed my inward parts;
   you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

 Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.

 My frame was not hidden from you,
 when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.

 Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
 in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!

 If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.

 Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
    O men of blood, depart from me!

 They speak against you with malicious intent;
    your enemies take your name in vain.

 Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord?
    And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?

 I hate them with complete hatred;
    I count them my enemies.

 Search me, O God, and know my heart!
    Try me and know my thoughts!

 And see if there be any grievous way in me,
    and lead me in the way everlasting!


So now, we are back to waiting, and in the midst of that waiting, I'm fervently praying.

Each and every day, I'm choosing joy and to be thankful for the here and the now. I choosing to be present for JAM and for our boys, and I'm choosing to be thankful for the "almost" phone call.